They say that of the few industries that benefit from a rocky, let’s face it – horrifying, economy is the alcohol business. Indirectly, there is another industry related to booze consumption, and that’s sports. You guessed it.
They have an intertwined history as juicy as a Cherry Cricket cheeseburger, dating back as far and further than the Romans. You mean to tell me guys named Maximus and Dorisimus and Badassimus didn’t take a little slug of some Roman moonshine before dawning the shield and sword to take on an untamed beast on the coliseum. I mean, they had to be half-cocked to do something that stupid.
Ah yes, the commingled relationship between sporting and alcohol goes back some time, doesn’t it? And it has only gotten more interlaced with the test of time.
And isn’t it funny how certain sports call for assorted libations?
There are some obvious ones. Baseball requires an oversize and definitely overpriced beer. How boring and predictable. For football, concession beers are a definite favorite, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to an NFL game without someone around sneaking in a flask of whiskey.
Like I said, obvious, predictable. I like considering the more obscure sports and their accompanying cocktails.
What would a nice shot of absinthe go with? Let’s begin in the Czech Republic, one of Europe’s hot-spots for American tourists on the hunt for legal absinthe, the stuff of legend. According to The Prague Post, foosball, yes, foosball, is one the most popular sports in the country, which even boasts its own trade magazine for the Ceska Foosballova Organizace. So absinthe and foosball, like peas and carrots, right?
Ok, something a little more tangible:
TENNIS Feels like something light, carbonated. Vodka tonic, maybe gin.
HUNTING Definitely whiskey. Just ask Dick Cheney. I think he prefers to mix his Black Label with a gun barrel.
MEDIEVAL DUAL Feels like a bark porter out of a steel beer stein.
GOLF A tough one. An 8 a.m. tee time might call for a screwdriver or perhaps a white Russian if John Daly’s in your foursome. Budweiser is a nice fit for a tee time in the p.m. They don’t call it swing lube for nothing. Though too much can really throw of your ability to read a green.
CABER TOSSING Scotch sounds about right. Dewars, aged 12 years. Maybe a healthy lager, but not served in anything less than a 32-ounce mug, long red Braveheart-like beards required.
NASCAR Racing is the quintessential lower-middle class American favorite. Busch Light, but only if they’re out of the cheaper stuff or if you’re celebrating Jeff Gordon’s point standing. Otherwise, it’s a Milwaukee’s Best 18 pack until the checkered flag flies. Prove me wrong NASCAR lovers.
HOCKEY Tough guys, a rambunctious bunch of fighters with an affinity for hard hitting and fast-paced action. Now, I used to consider myself among this fold, but I couldn’t hit very hard or skate very fast so please don’t think that I’m tooting my own horn.
I think appletinis or cosmopolitans fit the locker room atmosphere pretty well though. Don’t you? Ok maybe not, but as a hockey player myself, I knew I could always count on a cold case of Labatt’s waiting for us after the game.
You can go with Molson if you really need to sanitize the shower floor before setting foot in it, otherwise, leave that to Zamboni drivers and that one bucktoothed Canuck on your team. Every team has one. Gordie, you know who you are.
AUSSIE RULES FOOTBALL Is it too obvious to say Foster’s? Yes, of course it is. Aussie Rules. Australian for one of the most physical sports on earth. I’ve partied with these bucketheads. They get along well with the Irish, mostly in relation to our cooperative disdain for Britain. A stout Guinness is the perfect post-Aussie Football round.
Whatever your sport of choice, you can always count on a tasty beverage to match it’s aggression, speed, culture and history, so put on your game faces and pick up your beer mugs.
