Where Have You Gone, Novak Djokovic?

Djokovic ended his Aussie Open run against American Andy Roddick four sets into their quarterfinal match Tuesday.  Despite winning the first set, the 105 degree heat on the court got to Djokovic and he decided to call it quits.  Yes, I said 105 degree heat.  In Melbourne.  Even Crocodile Dundee would have been asking for Gatorade and Gold Bond.

On top of all that, Roddick holds the record for the fastest serve in tennis history at 155 m.p.h.  That kind of power mixed with triple-digit heat?  No thanks.  A mid-August family reunion in Boca sounds more fun than that.

Djokovic does have a long history of ending matches early.  In 2006, Djokovic quit his French Open quarterfinal match against Rafael Nadal, complaining of back problems.  He was singing the same tune a year later as he retired from his Wimbledon semifinal match, also against Nadal.  He even bowed out of a 2008 Davis Cup match, despite having a two sets to one lead on Russian Nikolay Davydenko.       

Not performing in the excruciating Aussie heat is one thing (Djokovic is the fourth player to retire in two days).  But how are you going to make a living as a tennis player if you’re not fit enough to consistently play and finish your matches?  You never heard Jacques Cousteau complain about the water being too cold, did you? 

I do feel for the kid.  It must be tough for a 21-year-old to have accumulated these types of blemishes on his young record, all while building a negative following in the media.  But there have been plenty of athletes who have suffered injuries in their careers, only to overcome them and proceed to greatness. 

At 31, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Tommy John blew a ligament in his elbow, a career-ending injury for a pitcher, right?  Wrong.  Doctors performed a brand new procedure on John, in which they took a tendon from a different part of his arm to reconstruct the damaged ligament in his throwing arm, giving him the ability to pitch again.  Abracadabra!  You are now more famous for the surgery that bares your name than for posting 288 wins in your long career.

Wait a minute, I may have stumbled on to something here.  Maybe what Djokovic needs is a diversion off the court to make us forget all this nonsense on the court.  Heck, it worked for Jennifer Capriati.  She won her three Grand Slam titles after going through her Lindsay Lohan-esque drug and shoplifting phase.

He could go into modeling, a la Anna Kournikova.  Kournikova is possibly the most famous tennis player never to win a Grand Slam title, or much else for that matter.  She did more on the runway than she did on the court, yet she was huge for tennis, because people were watching again.  Mostly middle-aged men, but who’s counting? 

Realistically, Djokovic is probably not going to develop a drug problem.  He's not going to date Enrique Iglesias and he’s not going to come up with some amazing arm surgery to improve serve velocity.  He’s just your average kid from Belgrade, trying to make a buck.  Go get ‘em kid!  Just remember to drink plenty of water, stretch for one hour before playing a match, bend with your knees, tie your shoes tightly, don’t keep too many tennis balls in your pockets because you could fall on them and that hurts like hell, don’t go swimming right after you eat, and always, always look both ways before walking around the Australian Open grounds, because there may be idiots throwing chairs at each other.    

                                                         ****AG****